I am so tired of being fat. Of the looks I get from people walking down the street. I don't want to shop in the "FAT" stores any more. I want my life back. So what am I going to do about this you may ask. Well I am going to bust my ass working out and eating better. NO I am not taking the easy way out. I am not going to get surgery to fix my problem.
I got here with food and food is whats going to get me out of this body and into a new one. I know how to eat better. I know what I have to do. I just need to do it. So for the next 6 months give or take a month. I am going to start training for a Marathon.
I am going to photograph myself in all of my fat glory and post it for all the world to see. Each day I am going to get up and walk my dog around the complex and then walk my husband around the complex. Yes I sucked him into my plan to loose the fat.
I go into the fat stores and see clothes that are cute but I cant fit those because they only go up to size 12. I want to be a size 12 maybe 14. I would be happy. I am 35 years old and I don't have to be my daughters size 6. I just need to be happy with where I am at.
The time is now. Starting Saturday January 2, 2009 I will start my workouts. I will stick to them every day. And at the end of this journey I will enter a marathon. I don't know where I will place in it but I will not come in last that's what my husband will have to do. Hey I know my priorities and my limitations.
I have used my sons death to mask the truth about my weight gain. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. He died 10 years ago this April 1st times up using that as an excuse.
I know the tears will come. I know the hurt and burn will be there. But every day I will stand against the wall and let my husband photograph me and post it for all the world to see me as I really am. And at the end of this I hope to see a lot less of me in those photographs.
I will be putting my initial photograph up on Saturday as well as my weight and measurements.
See you then. More like you will see me then.